Losing faith in humanity…one person at a time

For better or worse, nothing can replace family. As social creatures, they are an essential part of our lives. I spent much of my youth trying to save a dysfunctional family; then years running from them. Eventually I set out to create my own version of what I think family ‘ought’ to be.

I am now 42. My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years. I adore him. From the day we met, that was it- he was the guy. (If you do the math, you’ll see I had plenty of practice, so I knew.)

We were married for 5 years before we had kids. We came from similar homes, so making the decision to create new life (and potentially fuck it up) was huge. People often do not escape the ties that bind them to their history.

Our boys are now 6 and 8. It is both exhilarating and terrifying to be a parent. I would have failed miserably in this venture had I been younger and started a family. Through my experiences, I became convinced that my own family could be better.

Here’s the thing. I worked to free myself of the ‘baggage’ that goes along with dysfunctional families- I remember the shit I endured. I was raised to be a caretaker; a mender of people and things that, ultimately, could not be repaired. I have learned, instead, to use that energy to nurture my little ones. Being a mother is the best, and hardest, thing I do each day.

In spite of my dysfunctional upbringing, and maybe even BECAUSE of the way I was raised; I love them, teach them- and most importantly, set them free into this world.

I love every second I have with them. I regret every mistake I make. I try to make sure we laugh. A lot. We dance and sing; look for the unexpected. We think outside of the box.

Life is not to be endured. LIFE IS TO BE EMBRACED.